I believe everyone has a dream. Even if some of us ended up living a monotonous daily life, I believe that dream that you once had is still somewhere inside you.
How many of you told yourselves that someday you want to be whatever it is you wanted to be, but instead walked a different path. And years later, you find yourself somewhere else, instead of what you wanted to be initially just because someone told you that your "dream" was not possible because it doesn't "pay"... I was one of you.
I had others young and old told me that it was not possible to pursue that dream, just because it is beyond norm. Today, I see that many of us live with fear, having a false perception that pursuing your dream means living an uncertain/unstable life. I am like any of you who was raised to think that Life is structured this way: high school > college (a must and study the course that pays) diploma and/or degree if you can afford > work > pay bills > work some more > more money > get married > have kids > work harder because now its an obligation > retire > grow old and die. As we go on with our lives, we slowly forget to live and no longer see the beauty and creativity in everything around us like how we used to as a child.
Let me share with you an enlightening story:
When I was a little girl
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| Snapshot from my childhood's sketchbook |
My ambition was to pursue a creative profession somewhere along the creative line- an artist, a graphic designer, a fashion designer, a dancer, a singer, a writer. I was very creative as a kid, I made stuff, draw, paint, pretend I can invent things...haha.. all in all I knew that that was my dream and I was eager to grow up because I wanted to get my hands on it. I also knew that I was certain about turning hobby into a career. But then a loved one said to me, that if I choose my hobby as a career, I would be sick of it. I would hate drawing because I have to do it every day. As a kid, I was taken aback. Even though I went on drawing, that remark stayed on with me.
Okay I am a little shy about this part because I have posted all my artworks as a kid. But, do enjoy.
I recently rummaged through my old sketchbooks, drawings that reminded me of the ambitious dream that belong to that little girl inside me. I wanted that little girl to know that I never forgot about her, and our promise that someday I will make it happen.
As a kid I used to enjoy drawing women, of fashionable female illustrations like the one here.
I used to create my own compilation of fashion illustration book, pretending that someday someone will publish this. haha! And I used to spent time reading my mother's magazines and designing my own clothing line like this one. I think I did this when I was 9 or 10 years old. This one was my mother's favourite.
This is the cover of my "fashion magazine" that I created using fashion pictures and articles cut out from my mother's fashion magazines. haha!
... and it even came with a colour palette too.
The process went on until I was in high school. I used to write poems, journals, draw, made stuff, and even design for my friend's fantasy wedding dress.
At this point, I was already in highschool; with that remark still stuck in my head but I still carried on.
And later in college; I couldn't study fashion so I decided to explore fabric painting...
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| Sorry about this; this was taken many years ago with a film camera. Obviously I didn't focus well at that time. |
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| Eventually my fabric painting exploration went further and I started taking in requests from boutiques to paint on formal wear. |
Even though I ended up making a career out of another field, I made sure I stayed on in the creative field. As I grew older, I went through several demotivations; always testing me to stray away from my dream. I had people telling me that there was no way I can be creative.
When I was fabric painting for one of the boutique owners, she underpaid me and commented that my work was something too simple to be paid much. That led me to stop believing in my work and my self altogether. Little did I know, not believing in my inner artist affected my Self so much, that I stopped loving myself too.
5 years ago, an ex-colleague made a remark that because I did not have a formal art education, I was not fit to paint, draw or even give creative advice to anyone. It may sound harmless, but such simple words from someone successfully stopped me from creating art. And it wasn't until a year later, I came to a realization that art was me, and breaking up with art & creativity was like breaking up with my Self.
I did some thinking a couple of weeks back and I turned to look at my love and said to him "I want you to have a Dream. I don't want you to pursue something for the sake of pursuing and then look back and regret that you didn't. So, I want you to have a dream. Pursue it because I am with you in it."
I said that to him because I looked back and realized, my dream never left me; it was always there, but it was me who chose to forget my dream and stop believing in my Self.
Now when I rewind back to this picture...
...my dream came true.
Thankfully I didn't stop drawing for good 5 years ago, otherwise I wouldn't be where I am now. And looking at my journey in a big picture, it was like a huge maze. The experience was meant to be, I was meant to learn the hard way, like every self-taught artist, challenge myself, break up with creativity, meet myself at crossroads and choose to embrace myself instead to untie creative boundaries and set myself free.
My message to you is this
If you have a dream, go for it. Don't be afraid. Most importantly, don't live or pursue something out of fear. Instead pursue it with Love. 2 years ago a wise teacher once told me "Do what you Love, and the money will come". And I did. I never look back and never regret it.
If you find yourself difficult to follow your dream, think about it this way; everything is tough in Life, nothing comes easy. But then again, nothing is permanent. If difficulties/obstacles are illusion, then you have the power to turn that illusion into that dream that you want. Create it, create it the way you want it to be because it is YOUR DREAM and it belongs to you.
"Do what you Love,
and the money will come"
If you want to be a creative writer, an artist, a crafter, a blogger, etc. but you also have a job to focus on, here's the deal. You don't have to drop everything you are doing to pursue. Cos here's what I learned: I am blessed to be serving a creative agency in an art college (it was the college that I wanted to pursue art in years ago). With my busy schedule, my journey here has taught me the word "Balance". It's true they say that no man is an island; in this case, you need to balance between WORK and HOBBY (Dream). One supports another and vice versa. It's all up to you from now.
Looking back, I was already creating my own future, my own dreams to come true. So I ask for you to stay creative and remember that dream you were already creating as a child. Pursue it, do what you always wanted to do, because dreams do come true.
*Note: I've added more photos for you to see my process.
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22th May 2013- I just noticed an error happened in my blog's comment; that means I don't get to notified whenever my readers leave me a message. Because i've deleted something here on my blog, I've lost my one of my reader's comment. Luckily I managed to retrieve it, and here it is:
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