Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Birthday Insight: Why it's okay to turn 29

Wednesday, November 19, 2014
I came to work claiming dramatically to make my colleagues laugh. Even though I said "Just take that 1 number away and get me back to 28!", but in truth, it's just another year older that's all. I had memory flash backs before me; like recalling back when I was 15 years old picturing the 29-year old me and often wondered how will Life be for me.


I had a simple 29 birthday. The night before that, I wanted to be random with my birthday plans and how I wanted to celebrate it.

So, I asked Justin "Can I do everything terbalik (backwards) tomorrow?"

Justin: "Huh? What you mean?"

Me: "Terbalik lah. Like, instead of eating breakfast first, I eat dinner first, then breakfast, then lunch at night." I laughed like a little girl.

Justin: "Oh! Of course you can. You know like how first thing every morning, you will take Fuzzy out of her cage and then feed her breakfast? But this time, you can take Fuzzy, go one circle like 'weeeee'... and then put her back again.

I couldn't stop laughing after that because I was picturing myself doing everything backwards.


I didn't expect anything big for my birthday. I was already grateful that I am still here, present with my loved ones, celebrating with the love of my life and in our first home (even though it is rented).

It was super lovely to received a number of Birthday wishes on Facebook, especially from new friendships I've made from the creative community. I am truly blessed. I remember, 5 years ago, I couldn't even say this at all, let alone believe that I am blessed with goodness.

As I reflect back my Life 5 years ago and to date, I realized that turning a year older encouraged me to see Life in a bigger picture. As corny as this sounds, I am really truly grateful that I am alive and for what I have achieved in terms of Love, Relationship, Self and Passion.

We hear this most of the time, wishing for bigger things like luxury, money or success. It is not wrong, because everyone's entitled to their own preference or opinions. It's just not my kind of thing to use it to measure my happiness and success in Life.

I know that some of us, we give ourselves a finishing line that by the time we reach 29 or 30, we need to at least own a car, buy a property, getting a high-paying salary or having a high-position at work.

I can relate because I used to have similar goals in life too. I decided to see things differently when I learned that the key to happiness is me, my self.

I finally felt a heavy load lifted off my shoulder when I finally realized that I have actually attained a couple of achievements already. Though it may not be what we would commonly ask for, but I give thanks.

So, on my birthday, when we were out for the day; I said to Justin, "Now that I have turned 29, I think I have achieved Life success. Not success in terms of money, power, property, but success in my journey."

I have finally developed understanding in self-love and a balanced relationship with Justin; we have grown so much together and overcome our baggage. Not only that, I have finally connected the dots between self-love and creativity. For the past 5 years, I have learned to get to know myself all over again. 5 years ago, I was not the person that I always loved to be, instead I was the person that was constantly beating myself down. I was my own blockage, my own unhappiness, my own prison.

Looking back, it feels as if it is someone else's bad dream...

Now, to me being 29 isn't just about gaining monetary or material success. It's about how far you have come in Life to attain true Freedom of Self. When it comes to my work-passion, I am truly blessed to have discovered my way back into art and creativity. So much change has become of me, and it's all part of growing up.

Next year, I will be a year older, hitting the big 3 0. It's scary, but perhaps good scared like a new roller coaster ride. Sure, I'll complain how old I am already, losing the stamina to stay up late or walk for an hour, but I love this adventure. I love the fact that I have finally discovered what I love most about myself, and that helped me with my confidence and anxiety issues. And I'm looking forward to start the next 10 years, just like how my life started at age 20.

Have an awesome November!

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